Writing your own vows is such a personal and heartfelt act—it’s your chance to express your love, promises, and hopes for the future in your own unique way. Who else could capture the essence of your relationship better than you? But as special as it is, not everyone feels like a natural poet, and that’s perfectly okay! It can feel a bit overwhelming when faced with such a meaningful task. Don’t worry—we’ve put together a helpful guide to support you every step of the way. Let’s dive in and explore how to craft your own wedding vows and make them truly shine.
Step 1: Tone
Do you want to bring out laughter or tears? Knowing your tone helps to choose which treasured memories to mention, whether to be silly or serious and to consider what is meaningful to you. Make sure your partner is comfortable with the idea of writing their own vows. Not everyone may feel as bold or confident, but with a little encouragement, their effort will mean the world. The personal touch of each partner’s words will make the moment even more meaningful.
Step 2: ‘I Love You’
Come right out and say it! It’s a statement declaring love and what this person means to you, this will lead you into ‘why’ you love them, unpacking that could take up the rest of the vows, so dig deep and get gushy.
Step 3: The anecdote
Tell a story that carries weight to you like how you first met, your first kiss, when you knew they were the one, any heart-melter to get the bridesmaids tearing up. This one makes it personal and signifies what’s important to you so hold no punches, go big.
Step 4: Promises
Think deeply about what promises you want to make, setting these intentions will set in motion their fruition. Envision the life you want and seize it. Love, life and joy are all yours to have if you dream and promise from the heart.
Step 5: The long haul
Make a declaration that your wedding is only the start of the rest of your life together, that you’re dedicated to ‘till death do us part’ and ‘in sickness and in health’. This is a true vow, and one most people don’t think through enough to take seriously. Make sure to mean it and it’ll almost certainly come true.
Final step
Short of a wedding vow template, here are some final tips for writing vows. You’ll want to avoid leaving this to the last minute, it’s something you’ll want to consider, reconsider, write and rewrite. Make a few drafts and see which one aligns with your heart. Start with a check-list of all the things you would like to say and say them with conviction, thoughtfully and meaningfully. Avoid words like always and never because you never know what the future holds but rather make promises you know you will keep. Don’t be afraid to ask a trusted friend for help, often our loved ones know us better than ourselves and a bit of objectivity will certainly never hurt.
